The World Turned Upside Down......again

Over spring break Ally and I went to see Hamilton. It was AMAZING! Now I can't stop listening to the soundtrack and singing every song in my head. The one in my head tonight is "Yorktown." (The World Turned Upside Down) And my world has turned upside down today. Because here I go again with a big battle. But in this scenario, I must be Hercules Mulligan because when you knock me down, I get the f**k back up again!

I went to meet my team today to hear what the next steps would be. First let me say, the PET scan did show that the new cancer has not spread. Good news! Really it is. 6 years ago I was told that my PET scan lit up like a Christmas tree. My cancer had spread through my whole body. So to hear this cancer was in one spot felt like a real win. My original cancer was stage 4. This cancer is stage 2. 

Preliminary talks with my oncologist led me to believe that we were going to talk today about possible surgery..a lumpectomy. However, I got way more information than I was prepared for. Nick and I were at OHSU for 6 hours! 6! We met with a surgeon (Dr. Pomier). Same surgeon as first time around. It was like a little reunion. I don't recommend these reunions. We met with radiologist, nurses and my oncologist. Lots of meetings and lots of information..new information

My new cancer appears to be a clone of my original cancer.  It is growing in the same breast.  However some of the markings are different. They are both breast cancer. Both cancers are Her2 positive. (HER2-positive breast cancer is a breast cancer that tests positive for a protein called human epidermal growth factor receptor 2 (HER2), which promotes the growth of cancer cells.) Anyway, the difference is my first cancer was estrogen receptor positive.  This one is negative for estrogen. Which in a strange way is good because it means that my endocrine or hormone therapy treatment is working and blocking the estrogen cells that fed my previous cancer. That one isn't growing. 

But now for today's surprise.  This new cancer needs to be targeted differently.  So, essentially,  I need to fight 2 cancers at the same time.  

Here is where my world turned upside down. I am in for some hard therapy.  On April 26th I will begin 6 rounds of an intense chemotherapy. Still one day every 3 weeks. But will have 4 drugs delivered. Not the one...or 2 if you count my pills. That will be until August. Then surgery. Then radiation. 

It will be tough. Things will change.  I will change. This is going to be a very different experience than the last 6 years. 

I am still figuring out particulars. That will come and I dont need to figure it out right away. I plan on working some, but taking off the hardest days. It is going to be quite the summer. I will keep you updated. 

Thank you my tribe. Thank you for your love, prayers and support. It means more than you will ever know.

Madonna 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=%23&ved=0ahUKEwjU1bjIrrbaAhWLqlQKHV3_CZsQwqsBCDMwAg&usg=AOvVaw0VTJzWxrN8ZFOD4xbU2nov    (Caution some foul language)

Living Life with Cancer

I stumbled upon my blog again because of a Facebook memory. It has been very cathartic re-reading my posts about my journey at the beginning. I am now six years in and I can say I forgot about many of those feelings. I guess it's a lot like child birth, we forget the pain, but remember the joy. And yes there has been joy.
I started this blog 6 years ago to give me an avenue to vent....to share my story. I was good about sharing and then there became not us much to share.....until the last couple of weeks.

On March 19th I went in for my routine CT scan. No big deal. I have had many over the years. It has all become routine. Well, this one had different results. For the first time in almost 6 years,  I did not get a positive result. I have a new 1.5 cm mass that had formed. Why? We don't know. There is so much you can speculate on. So many questions that can circle in my head. Should I have stopped the other medication? Is that why it is back? Should I have done this? That? Why didnt I do this??? Then you tell yourself to STOP! It is what it is. I can't go back and change anything. Everything that was done in my treatment was done because it was right for that moment.

I think deep down I knew that this could come back at some point. I was stage 4, 6 years ago. I killed that cancer. I have already beat so many odds. And now I will again!

Last week, I had a biopsy done and it was confirmed that it is the same cancer. Invasive ductal carcinoma. Further tests will be done to determine what other "markers" there are.  It appears to be only growing in the breast. Near where the original mass was. That is all the CT scan showed. However, next week I will do the routine of 6 years ago....another PET scan to see if it us hiding in lymphnodes around my body. Possible MRI. More biopsies? But PET scan will really drive my treatment. I will meet with "my" cancer team next Thursday, April 12th to know which way we are going.

Through all of this I am "ok." I have nothing but hope that things will be ok. I have so much to fight for. My family! My kids! My job that I love! Life!  How long that will the fight be? I don't know. I have been doing this for 6 years, what's a few more.

As always, please send lots of prayers for healing and prayers for my family. The kids are older now. They understand a lot more.

Thank you my tribe! ♥♥♥


Isaiah 41:10   "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."