I have always loved fall. I love the crisp air. I love sunny fall days. I love the fall colors of red, orange, yellow, brown and pink! It is October. You know what that means.....fall, football, and Breast Cancer Awareness Month! I love pink in the fall. Sure it has taken away from decorating for Halloween a bit, but I will take it. Pink is my new favorite color and October is the month to celebrate that.
This year I feel so much more at peace with this. Last year, I think I was still a bit reluctant to participate as a Survivor. I was still in the beginning..well 6 months in...to treatment. But now, with my diagnosis of no evidence of active cancer I feel that I want to let everyont know that it is Breast Cancer Awareness month! I am still here! I am still fighting! and I am a SURVIVOR!
Next week, I have another scan to see how things are again. Am I nervous? Maybe a bit. But not as nervous as I have been before. But why wouldn't I be nervous? There is always that little bit of wonder when you go in. It is human nature I think to have a little self doubt. But I just tell myself that it is all good! It has to be. And besides I have conferences at the end of next week to take my mind off it. It is all in a day's life for me. Get up...take my cancer pills...go teach kindergarten...take my kids to soccer....make dinner....go to bed...wake up and do it all over again. That is my life. And then every three weeks I go have my infusion of Herceptin. It is a bit odd I will admit. I park at the end of where I take my students to the busses. Walk across the street to where I park on those Fridays and leave to go enter another world. The cancer, infusion world. I have to say, so far it has been welcomed. It is nice to just sit for that hour and relax. I bet that is a first. Someone thinking that an infusion is relaxing. But it is. I am forced to sit and put my feet up. Last week I had a cold so I got an isolated room with a bed. I laid back and enjoyed the quiet. Because just and hour before that I had been getting 24 kindergarteners packed up and out the door! But again..It is what it is! It is life. Yes, sometimes it is a struggle to know that I am still sick on the inside but looking fine on the outside. But mostly, it just makes me grateful and lucky that I can celebrate and walk around as a survivor.
Well, I just wanted to update a bit. Most of you follow me on facebook too so you know what is going on. But for those of you I don't see on facebook.... I am doing well. I am awake. I am alive and I am blessed......now if someone could just pay my bills it may truly feel like heaven.
That about sums it up!
Portrait of me from a student! Pink of course!
Still rocking the pink tutu!
Still my reality every three weeks! But I still fight!
And a Pink Ribbon for Breast Cancer Awareness month!